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A fearless warrior

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It makes me sad to think about all of the turmoil and chaos that is surrounding us in the world today. No matter where you are, you can’t seem to get away from it. It’s in front of you when you turn on the news, when you get online to try and find something worth reading, and even when you turn on the radio for a pick-me-up song. Such despair and uncertainty abounds.

I don’t have any answers for what is taking place in the world other than don’t react in fear. Fear is the worst thing you can ever hold on to. I’m not talking about fear of public speaking, escalators, or even spiders. Those are some my legitimate fears but not something that keeps me awake at night.

No, it’s deeper fears like war, famine, and even early death than will disturb any persons inner peace. I have found that I need to become fearless. Why? Because fearless people are not afraid to be afraid. They are able to take their fears as a warning sign and use them to get a better perspective of what is actually taking place around them… both the irrationally perceived problems and the real ones.

Every person experiences fear differently. You are not alone in this. Fear actually affects more people than the common cold. That’s because it’s a human experience. If I let fear rule me I would be cowering in the corner counting down time to my last breath. One thing you have to be mindful of is don’t let fear prevent you from actually living. That shouldn’t happen.

Fear reminds me that there is beauty all around in the shadows. It’s just hiding hoping to not be discovered. The beauty in the shadows is worth fighting for. No matter how bad thing can get, I will rise above the situation and be triumphant. I’m reminded that I’m a warrior regardless of what anyone else thinks. That I’m not going down with the ship. That I’m strong, mighty and capable of anything I put my mind to. And so are you. You’ve got this. Don’t lock yourself away in fear. Come out into the open, turn your face to the sun… and live. There is hope for a better day.

When it feels like everything is over, when the last bit of hope and light starts slipping away faster than you can chase it, it’s at that time you find you are able to gather enough strength to carry on. It’s that little voice you’ve been hearing in the back of your heart and mind to not quit and never give in. Listen to it. It knows more than you realize. You’ve got this. Become a fearless warrior with me.

Listen to your body and don’t overdo it

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My favorite time of year is finally here. My lawn is getting greener and greener due to the rain we’ve been having. It is begging to be cut. I’m actually feeling good enough to run my riding mower and get out in the sun for my adventure of the day but it’s raining again this morning.

I can already tell it’s going to be easier to manage a riding mower without a suprapubic catheter urine bag to lug around. I’m really liking having a urostomy. I think it’s one of the best surgeries I’ve ever had. It’s so freeing for me. I can move about without concern of what’s coming with me. And the pain is finally over. Yippee.

Yesterday I pulled out my weed whacker to edge my driveway and sidewalk to get the grass under control. I was able to cut the time in half from what it took me last year. I moved about better. I use my old powerchair to ride around the property. I call it my powerlawnchair.

There are a lot of projects I want to get done this year but I know I need to be cautious and not try to tackle them all at once. I’m going to take them one at a time and give myself lots of breaks.

That’s the important part. Listen to your body and don’t overdo it. You know your body best. I have to remember to stop before it starts to scream at me. If it screams, I’m done for days and days.

My right side is still giving me difficulties due to increased weakness but I’ve gotten pretty good at doing everything left handed. Even when raking the lawn I actually rake it using my right shoulder and left hand. Odd combination but it works for me. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do… no matter how weird it may look.

One things for sure, you will always find me out in my yard doing something to beautify things. My next project is to replace the solar powered lights around my front entranceway. It always looks so nice all lit up at night. I bought some replacement ones last year all ready for me to get out and tackle the task.

I love living by myself even when days are hard. I love looking out my windows at all of nature that surrounds my house as the deer and bunny rabbits trapes around. I won’t stop loving life regardless of how hard things get or how impossible life becomes. I will always find something to make me smile!

I’m fighting a monster called multiple sclerosis

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I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible because of a monster called multiple sclerosis.

I’m braver now even though I didn’t know MS existed in my life until I was in my 40’s. I fought through mind numbing pain, muscle weakness and tears. I fought it daily with a sword in my hand while yelling, “Hiyah!”.

I’m stronger now because I had to be. My choice was fight or give up, but I’m not a quitter. That’s just not a part of my DNA. So fight, I did. I learned how to use a cane, then a walker and now a wheelchair. I learned what foods benefit my body the most and what supplements help me to cope.

I’m happier now because I’ve discovered what really matters most in life. It’s crazy how that happens. You face down a beast like MS and discover a strength that you didn’t even know you had and that many things in life aren’t really that important anymore. Hold onto true friends and family, and let the other things go. You don’t need the extra baggage. It will only weigh you down and hold you back.

I stand taller, figuratively, because I am a survivor. Yes, there will be struggles and pain. There will be times I may be fearful of tomorrow or even of the next step I need to take, but I will push to the end and give it I’ve got.

Remember, you are not alone in this fight. The great Rocky Balboa said, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Come fight with me.