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Today I didn’t grieve for my health issues

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How many days do I get up in the morning and say “Maybe my hands will work for me to get dressed without difficulties. Maybe I can get through my morning without a bathroom mishap. Maybe the pain in my body is manageable and doesn’t interfere with my quality of life. Maybe multiple sclerosis will behave and allow me to run some much needed errands.”?

Sometimes feeling lonely overwhelms me. I have sensed a feeling of abandonment more times than I care to admit. Not because of anything in particular, but just because I find it’s not that easy to get some much needed help for everyday events like preparing a meal or cleaning the house.

Recently I have noticed that I get upset easier. I have been in arguments or quarrels for no reason at all. My emotions are just on edge and have a tendency to overwhelm me. I feel like people I used to count on have moved away from my life which in a way is something to be grateful for… but still unnerving. I don’t need complicated people to complicate my already chaotic life.

Today I didn’t grieve for my health issues… I looked at my life and was thankful for my doctor which I will be seeing later in the day hoping it’s a good appointment. I looked out at how hard the wind was blowing and was thankful that I have a roof over my head, heat in the house and food in the cupboard. That I have friends and some family members who love me and contact me just to see how I’m doing.

My back porch has been setup with comfortable seating to enjoy the warmer weather when it comes and it’s been cleaned… the spring cleaning way. It was a much needed job to get done. Family came by unexpectedly and helped me out. That was a much appreciated thing to have happen. How can I show my gratitude? I feel like just saying thank you to everyone in my life isn’t enough gratitude, but it is.

I can do acts of kindness. I can perhaps slip a card of encouragement to someone secretly that I know can use it. Often, many people I see just want to talk to someone. That doesn’t cost a penny. For the most part, my time is free to give. Maybe some people won’t understand how special those kinds of times are, but I do and will still cherish them.

Today, ask yourself what you have done lately to show your gratitude for the day? Sometimes all that’s needed is our attention and looking around just to notice what’s actually there. There’s always something. What are you grateful for?

 

 

Ready for surgery

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My bags are packed for a 6 day hospital stay. Not my choice of a resort stay but at least I will be taken care of while recovering from surgery on Monday morning. I have to be at the hospital at 8:00 AM, Feb 6th. Surgery will take about 2 1/2 hours. I will write to keep you updated while in the hospital. Don’t know what day I will post something but hopefully you will hear from my by the 7th.

I have to empty my bowels on Sunday starting at 2 PM. I have to down 4 litters of Gavilyte-G. Lemon flavored… and stay by the toilet so I won’t make a mess rushing to the bathroom. Ugh!

For those who don’t know my urologist has recommended the removal of my bladder and a stoma made with a part of my small intestines to empty my urine into a pouch on the outside of my stomach area. I won’t have any more stones to deal with. No more UTI’s. No catheters to change. Just a urine bag/pouch to change. It’s supposedly not be painful once healed. My urine will just be an open flow outside of my body. Kidneys will work the same. Just no bladder.

I’m a little nervous about it and hope I will heal quickly and learn quickly how to manage dealing with a urostomy bag. I’ve met with the nursing staff that will be teaching my after surgery how to manage everything. They are really nice and have already given me some products to play around with to get a little familiar with what I will be doing.

Keep me in your prayers. I will be doing the same for you. Hugs…

You deserve more and better things in your life

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You deserve more and better things in your life than you realize even though multiple sclerosis seems to have gotten in the way of you being able to achieve it. You have it within you to be the leader of your own life.

Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do they lift you up, or do they bring you down? If you feel bad about yourself after hanging out with a certain person, it may be time to say goodbye. Believe in yourself enough to put on your crown and hold your head high. You can’t wear your crown with your head down. Wrong friends will do that to you.

Learn to love yourself. There will be times you will have to apologize and forgive yourself for not being kind to YOU. Sad to say, you are your own worst enemy. Give yourself a pep talk by speaking positively to the situation. Words have power. If you keep thinking you’re a failure, that’s exactly what you’ll become. If you keep telling yourself you’re going to make it, you eventually will. That’s because our perception creates our reality.

Be kind to yourself. Never apologize for living your life your way. To expect no difficulties in life, whether through your own actions or sheer circumstances, is unrealistic. Difficult times happen. Allow yourself time to really look at your situations for what they are. Develop a habit of self-reflection. Try to quiet your mind and get rid of your biases first.

Do you speak to yourself by putting yourself down? Think about it…do you call yourself names out loud? Names like stupid, idiot, or worse? My mom used to say if you don’t have anything nice or useful to say, don’t say it. That includes how you speak to yourself. Try this: before you criticize yourself, think of 3 genuine compliments you can give instead. You’ll start feeling great about yourself. Try to talk to yourself like someone you love.

Prepare for a journey.