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Shadows of Resilience

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In the quiet of the morning, when light begins to breach,
There lies a silent warrior, with strength you cannot teach.
Multiple Sclerosis, a name whispered with fear,
Yet within its shadow, courage blooms, oh so clear.

Each day is a canvas, painted with strokes of pain,
But also with moments of joy, a reminder that we gain.
The body, once a temple, now a puzzle to solve,
With every piece that shifts, we learn to resolve.

The nerves, like pathways, sometimes lost, sometimes found,
Guide us through a maze, where silence is profound.
Each step might falter, each hand might shake,
But the spirit within, oh how it does not break.

Through blurred visions and tremors, through numbness and ache,
We find new ways to dance, new paths to take.
With every MS flare, a lesson is taught,
Life’s beauty is not in the battles that we’ve fought,

But in the moments of stillness, in love and in laughter,
In the bonds we create going through life’s disaster.
We adapt, we adjust, we learn to embrace,
The life that MS gives with a unique kind of grace.

So here’s to the warriors, with scars deep and wide,
To those who see MS not just as a tide,
But as part of the journey, a chapter to pen,
With resilience and hope, again and again.

___________________

I also want to share this post of my favorite poem for this Christmas season.
I hope you enjoy it.

A Multiple Sclerosis Night Before Christmas

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my body,
Not a nerve was behaving, making me move rather shoddy.
My daily activities were chosen with care,
In hopes that each one could be done from a chair.

Each word that I spoke seemed to come out all wrong,
So much to be finished, I had to stay strong.
And John in the kitchen, and Missy making frappe,
Everyone busy working, no time for a nap.

When somewhere outside there arose such a clatter,
I peeked through the window, to see what was the matter.
I tried to move fast, to get to the door,
But I didn’t quite make it, and wound up on the floor.

As I lay on the rug, making sure nothing broke
Through tears I could see it, even gave it a poke.
Yes, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the cane that I had lost, earlier this year.

Then the front door cracked open, and before me he stood,
I immediately knew help had arrived which was good.
And more rapid than eagles, his phrases they came,
As he whistled and shouted, and called them by name.

“Now hang on, now slow down, now take more life pauses,
With stressful, and chaos, and tearful day causes.
To the end of the checklist, to the end of the hall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

And then I could see, as I wiped away tears,
Why, his words and his wisdom had settled my fears.
As I sat on the floor, too weak to even move
He knelt down beside me, and said I have nothing to prove.

He looked a bit weary, as a glance we exchanged,
And he said that my focus is what needs to be changed.
What’s important is family and those who are nearby.
(On that last one he spoke with a twinkly eye.)

Your weakness…it’s real. Your limits…real too.
MS has this way of making even brilliant days blue.
He smiled as he spoke, and I knew he was right.
No more pity party moments or MS fist fights.

He spoke not a word more as he helped me to stand.
I found myself smiling as I reached for his hand.
I sat on the couch as he gave me a nod,
He helped me to see that my thinking was flawed.

Then he sprang to his sleigh, and to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, “You’re doing great, don’t forget,
To pause more and smile, you have nothing to fret.”

Here’s how to explain multiple sclerosis

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Multiple sclerosis, or MS for short, is a condition that affects the brain and the spinal cord, which are like the control centers for your body. Imagine your brain and spinal cord are like a busy highway with lots of wires (called nerves) that send messages to different parts of your body, telling them what to do.

In MS, something goes wrong with the protective covering of these wires, kind of like if the rubber on the outside of a wire got damaged. This covering is called myelin, and it helps the messages travel fast and smoothly. When it gets damaged, the messages can get mixed up or slowed down.

This can make someone feel different things, like:

  • Tingling or numbness in their hands or feet, like when your foot falls asleep.
  • Feeling very tired even after resting.
  • Seeing things a bit blurry or feeling dizzy.
  • Muscles might not work as smoothly, making it hard to walk or hold things.

But here’s the important part: people with MS are still the same people they were before. They might just need to take a little more time or use different ways to do things. There are lots of treatments and ways to help manage MS, like special medicines or exercises, to make sure they can keep doing the things they love.

Think of it like this: everyone’s body is like a unique puzzle, and sometimes, some pieces need a bit more care. People with MS are just solving their puzzle in a special way, and they can still play, learn, and have fun, just maybe a bit differently.

Comparing yourself to others is a losing battle

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Either way you look at it, comparisons tend to be bad for us. They are bothersome at the very least. From birth our parents start comparing us with other children. Simultaneously, our teachers and coaches compare us with other children. We compare everything and anything these days. We compare our incomes, our houses, cars, children, and yes even our illnesses. In doing so, even if we feel we win in comparison, WE LOSE!

Just as we are all unique and cannot be compared, it is the same with illnesses. There is NO illness worse than another. ALL illness is terrible. When a person compares someone who has multiple sclerosis with someone that has another illness, they are speaking from a lack of understanding and through filtered lenses. No one can know what someone is experiencing unless they crawled into that person’s body to feel what they feel, and experience what they experience.

One of the most awful experiences is when you share your illness with someone and they proceed to tell you how their approach to MS or some other ailment is the only way you should be living? That you need to adjust your diet and get rid of meat, diet soda, and gluten. That because you aren’t living like they say, you are doing it all wrong? That if you only _____ (fill in the blank) you would feel better?

It can get extremely frustrating when someone assumes they know your body and your journey better than you do. Comparing illnesses or even progressions of the same illness between two different people never works out. When someone does the comparing like that, they have fallen victim to comparisons.

The problem with focusing on other people’s achievements is that you will never measure up. It can make you dissatisfied with your own daily activities and even gives you less strength to keep working towards greater things. Comparison is a thief of joy.

Instead of seeing how you measure up to another person, analyze yourself and ask yourself how well you are doing with the things you need to be doing for yourself. The only one we should ever compare ourselves to is ourselves…

Stay focused on your goals and what you want for life. There is only one of YOU in this world, don’t waste time comparing yourself to others. Instead, make your life count. Striving to live a life that is authentic to your own personal goals.

In the process, don’t get caught up in the envy of another person’s successes or goals attained. Envy is the emotion that you experience when someone else has or does something that you wish you could have or do. If another person gets positive results from a medication or a treatment that you wanted, it is natural to feel a jealous twinge. Instead, consider sending a note of congratulations and enjoying their success.

Focusing on gratitude helps, because much of what you’re grateful for involves the people around you… individuals who have looked out for you, mentored you, and cared for you when you were are your worst. That makes gratitude a wonderful antidote to negative comparisons. It reminds you that there are a lot of people around you who are contributing to your success and who love you.

You are loved for who you are. Don’t you ever forget that.

I’m a nobody

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I’m a nobody. I’m just a gal with a laptop, a blog, an X account and a Facebook account. Nothing special.

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2013 and went about looking for information about MS, the drugs used to help, and healthcare in general. Some of the things I learned were great, some not so much, but all of it beneficial.

One thing that truly annoyed me was when I would visit support groups at that time I always left feeling worse than when I had arrived. Most groups were just woe-is-me sessions and left me with an icky heaviness inside. So my remedy was to never go back to them.

Can’t people talk about MS and still laugh and enjoy themselves without all the woe-is-me attitudes? I found few resources for positive encouragement at that time. A place to laugh, to cry, to share, to just feel normal in the midst of a life of chaos. That’s when I decided to start something myself, thus the birth of Positive Living with MS. I don’t make any money posting things online I just gain great new connections with people all around the world and learn a lot of cool things from them.

In addition to that…

I will use whatever reach I have to talk about multiple sclerosis: the good, the bad and the ugly. Some with humor, some with tears, but all with a matter-of-fact straight talk. I don’t sugar coat things to make others feel comfortable about the topic I’m discussing. I just tell it like it is from my perspective. If that’s not something you like, then I hope you find some other blog or page that helps you out better than mine. No feelings hurt here.

I love making my humorous meme’s and sharing my daily nonsense posts on social media. Some are received well, some with groans and others with huh? moments. But at least they get people talking and thinking. And on my blog I try to post once a week to talk about my own experiences with MS. I’m glad to be able to share my journey with you. One of my favorite posts is MS Facts. Beware… there’s humor in there to talk about all the symptoms we deal with.

If you want to help me pay the bill to cover my hosting and blog costs you can donate online here:

DONATE HERE >

Any financial help is always a welcomed blessing for me as I no longer work due to the progression of MS in my body. I have trouble cognitively as well as with uncontrollable tremors and weakness.

I only have my social security benefits to cover my living costs and squeeze out all I can to pay for the website. I used to be a web developer and graphic designer so my skills came in handy to build the site and keep it running.

Each year around this time I let everyone know that in a few months the bill will be due. Any amount given will be used to cover the costs. This year the total is $600. The price went up about $50 from last year, but I’m determine to raise enough to cover all the costs with your help. Thank you in advance for your support. And happy thanksgiving to you as well.

———-

I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one’s name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!
– Emily Dickinson

 

There’s a flurry of weirdness going on in my brain

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When people try to rationalize or downplay my fatigue, it can hurt. Many times it seems like the more I try to explain how tired my tired is, the more they try to fit it into their little perception box. Understandably so, they aren’t the ones living with it, but sometimes I just wish I could give them a taste of what my fatigue actually feels like. Maybe then they would get it.

I spent my night with a random flurry of weirdness going on in my brain. My thoughts had no reason and made no sense. I have an overactive brain that just won’t shut up especially when night comes. It just feels so uncomfortable having a torrent of random weird thoughts and questions hitting me every time I try to sleep. I have realized the questions are so odd that most of them are unsolvable.

To go with my busy brain, my body is filled with pain, dizziness, breathing difficulties, tossing and turning, and muscle spasms all disrupting my comfort. A night of sleep… I wish!

But did any of my night time questions or thoughts come to fruition? No. When this happens I pick up a notebook and pen to write everything down. I can guarantee you that when I read them later I’m always thinking omg, these thoughts are so irrational. What the heck is that all about. Then I just let it go. I don’t need any stressful thoughts to complicate my already complicated life.

And because I’m so tired even after a night in bed, the thought of having to get myself dressed and looking presentable in the morning wears me out. If it’s not messy hair, pajama pants and t-shirt doable, it’s too much work.

I appreciate when a friend asks me to do something, but then is ok if I end up declining their invite because my body is simply too exhausted to function, even if it ends up being a last minute change. No one should ever have to spend time defending how they feel and why.

The world is buzzing by at hyper speeds and it tries its best to force me to keep up with the pace it sets, but MS has given me a slower pace that requires pitstops and multiple times of rest. Most of the buzzing about that the world wants me to do isn’t really important anyway.

I choose to hold onto the things that really matter in life like great friends, savory coffee and extra time to stay in bed. My bed is my friend and keeps me company even in the middles of the day when I need fluffy pillows and moments of quiet. I like friends like that.

Why Does Your Brain Ask Weird Questions When You Can’t Sleep?

Something bizarre happened to me

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Sometimes bizarre things happen with multiple sclerosis just because it exists. After all, we live with a strange, unpredictable disease that seems to have a mind of its own. At times I do things so strange that blaming it on MS isn’t even fair. Out of everything that has happened I blame my right hand for it all. My right hand is more of a paperweight than something of use anyway. Between tremors and weakness, it’s useless.

Some of the really strange things that happen need to be discussed more often so more people are aware of the challenges we face.  The strangest symptoms I’ve dealt with include:

  • Feeling as if an internal earthquake is taking place inside my body.
  • Experiencing ringing in my ears that sometimes is louder than a crowd at a ball game.
  • Feeling as if water is dripping on me when I’m no where near a faucet.
  • The unrelenting crushing feeling of the MS hug which is more like a tight girdle wrapped around the rib cage or a boa constrictor that won’t let go.
  • Feeling as if food is stuck in my throat when I haven’t eaten anything.
  • Involuntary movements of my body like me accidentally kicking the doctor.
  • Abnormal sensations on my skin such as burning, pins and needles, and even itching that nothing seems to be able to alleviate.
  • Feeling an electrical shock sensation through my arms and legs when I tilt my neck downward.
  • Feelings of dizziness and being off-balance which accompanies nausea.
  • Experiencing emotional incontinence which brings on uncontrollable laughter or tears.
  • Dealing with 3-D illusions like when an object is moving straight towards me but it appears to be swerving and shifting in its path.

I have also noticed a strange phenomenon since having MS. I don’t have a clue if it’s actually related to MS in any way as I’ve never heard it talked about, but I thought I would mention it so others who are dealing with the same things don’t think they are going crazy.

When I get something as simple as a pimple on my face (it’s not just for teenagers, you know), it will take a few months to fully heal instead of days as in times past. I’ve noticed the same thing happens with cuts too. I cut my finger in the kitchen and after a month it has healed aside for a slightly puffiness. I’m just glad my hand is numb and I can’t feel any pain that is going on inside. It’s healing at its own slow pace. Bizarrely slow, I have to say.

It could be due to some of the medications I take. I take things for muscle spasms, pain, dizziness, help with sleeping, and temors. A daily cocktail along with a slew of supplements and vitamins. It’s crazy because before MS I didn’t even take aspirin or cold medicine, now I have a rainbow collection of pills that would put a package of Skittles to shame.

When I was first diagnosed with MS I was taking a med called Rebif. I had to give myself inter-muscular shots 3 times a week, similar to those taking Copaxone. Those shots would bruise me so bad that over time I looked like I was being abused. I would have bruises on my thighs, arms and belly and they would take forever to heal. But the med would end up making me feel worse than MS actually did. I was medicating myself for the side effects of the medication. Such a vicious cycle that I’m glad ended when I stopped taking it. I would rather let MS progress naturally than feel miserable trying to medicate for a hopeful slower progression of MS.

Keeping a healthy diet helps to manage some issues, but it won’t rid the body of everything MS. I’m truly overjoyed for those that are able to fully manage MS by the things they eat and the supplements they take, but it’s important for people to understand that not everybody has such great results. Each of us is unique with our own cellular makeup and our own responses to diet and medications.

If you face slow wound healing, know that you aren’t alone. I’m sitting here with a puffy finger and a pimple on my chin to prove it happens.

It’s necessary for a person on a journey with MS to be able to recognize why coping with their illness is difficult. Knowing how crazy MS can be can help ease the burden, even if only for a little while. You got this.

Once diagnosed with MS, you find out who your real friends are

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Life was good before multiple sclerosis. I had great friends. We would spend time together on the weekends going out to eat or bowling, and in the summer we would always plan hiking trips through the mountains. When MS became a part of the picture, those nights out and trips dwindled. It got to where I wasn’t even being invited to dinner anymore, they would just go without me. It made me downright mad to be excluded like that. I wanted to scream at them saying, “I have MS, I didn’t die.”

Amazingly, you discover who your real friends are once a challenge arises. They will either stand by you and hold you up or they will walk away dropping you like a hot potato. If they choose to walk away, let them. You don’t need anyone pulling you down. MS is doing a good enough job of that already.

For those friends wanting to understand a little more about how life changes for a person with MS, I’ve listed a few things here. Maybe they will help you to understand MS and help you to be a better friend in the process.

1. Sleep is important to us.

We need to go to bed early. When I say need, I mean NEED, and when I say early, I mean EARLY! Our bodies wear out faster because they are working harder to do just about everything. The simple act of walking across a room exerts twice the energy of a healthy person doing the same thing, if not more. We have to think to walk. It doesn’t come naturally like it does for you. Every step includes a thought process about how to pick up the foot and where to put it back down. Now, add to that all the other things you do in a day. Many times we will be in the bed before the sun goes down, which means we may not be able to have a night out with the gang or stay up to watch a late night movie on the couch. When we do sleep, the time is sporadic which makes us even more exhausted the next day. Sleeping through the night without bathroom breaks and being awaked by pain is a rarity. So, if we say we’re tired, we are “I haven’t slept in days and every muscle, bone and cell in my body aches” tired.

2. Schedules are planned around treatment and sleep.

No longer are we able to plan ahead for a special event. Our meds and sleep patterns changed that the moment MS became a part of our life. If we are out enjoying the night and have to leave early, don’t get mad or think we are being unsocial for being the first person to slip out unnoticed. When our bodies are screaming at us in pain, and our exhaustion has hit an all time high, we would rather be at home in the comfort of our PJs so we can hibernate on our own couch. This way, if we have a moment when things get too intense and we shed a tear or two, we don’t have to explain what’s wrong for the hundredth time. Just know that if we ever say “no” or have to cancel last minute plans, it’s not because we don’t want to be a part of what’s going on or because we are mad at you. Our bodies just won’t let us join in.

3. “Just come over and sit” is not as easy as it sounds.

For one, we have to get ourselves dressed and make ourselves presentable which exerts energy. Then we have to drive through traffic to get to your house which can be dangerous, especially if we have trouble with vision, numbness in our legs, dizziness or fatigue. So, although coming and just sitting at your house sounds simple, it’s not. It becomes even more difficult when we have to leave and drive back home, because by that time we are so tired that driving can be scary and unsafe. It would be so much easier if you were to come to us. And not a loud party kind of come over either. There is a time and place for that, but most of the time we just want to know you care. Having a cup of coffee or tea for an hour or bringing lunch over would be welcomed and help brighten our day.

4. Simple things suddenly become difficult.

Laundry, cleaning, cooking, washing the car, vacuuming, making the bed, going to the store: they all sounds like simple things, right? But they’re not. All of a sudden we find ourselves struggling just to make the bed in the morning. What normally would take 10 minutes becomes 45 minutes. Our energy gets used up fast and our muscles weaken quick. All those things normal people do, we struggle with. We look around the house and want to cry because we have had to neglect things we normally would take care of. You know what would be the greatest thing of all? For you to volunteer to come and help us tackle the laundry or the scrubbing of the toilet.

5. We get tired of explaining the same thing over and over.

We understand that you don’t get it and that much of our pain you can’t see. We realize you can forget from time to time that we are hurting and suffering on the inside. But please, as a friend who wants to be a part of our lives, take the time to read up on MS so you can be informed. Be our biggest supporter: the person that stands up for us and fights for us when others point and stare or are saying stupid things and being rude. Hold our hand through the bad days and help us find our smile when we lose it.

6. Don’t judge us for our choice of treatment.

We are the ones living with MS and, surprisingly enough, we have researched more in depth about MS than most people because again, we are the ones living with it. We would like nothing more than to one day wake up and hear that MS is cured. Until then, we have decisions to make about a treatment plan. Those decisions are ours to make, not yours. Please don’t judge our decisions. Treatments are a trial and error kind of thing. They won’t cure us. They just delay the progression. Let us try what we feel is right for us, and if it doesn’t work, help us to make the next big decision for treatment. Leave the judgements and finger pointing elsewhere. We don’t need condemnation or criticism. We need support and care.

When it comes to friendships, we need them, we want them, we long for them, but we won’t be able to be the friend you have known in the past and we need you to be okay with that. MS has caused our lives to change. We would love it if you would help us through that change by changing with us. We know it’s not easy. Boy, do we know it’s not easy. But know that living with MS isn’t easy either.

True friends are a rare thing for the chronically ill. It takes guts to stand with us. Thanks for having the guts to stay.

I have lots of “almosts” in my MS life

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Lucy and Linus were talking to their coach, Charlie Brown, at home plate. Kicking the dirt in disgust, Charlie Brown said, “Our team is no good. We have lost every game. There is nothing good about our team!”

“But,” protested Lucy, “Schroder almost hit a home run. And we almost won a couple of games. Once we almost made a double play. Don’t forget that you almost made it to first base before the ball, once.”

“If it’s any consolation, Charlie Brown,” interrupted Linus, “we did lead the league in almosts.”

“Almosts” are part of everyone’s life but living with multiple sclerosis our almosts are a bit different. Some almosts work to our advantage and are even celebrated.

For example, there are times when we almost slip getting out of the shower. Yeah! Or, we almost have an accident while driving our wheelchair… oops. Or, we almost choke while swallowing food, air or saliva… yikes. Or, we almost fall going up the stairs… yes, it can happen.

But sadly I have actually had every one of them happen to me and they can be really scary to deal with. It takes a lot of strength to hang in there when everything around you is going wrong and destroying your hopes and dreams.

Then there are the “might have been” occasions like when we almost walk across a parking lot without needing help but fall instead. Or other might have been occasions when we almost are healed by taking supplements and eating a special healthy diet. You know, the infamous unknown cures that heal every illness on the planet. According to those hacks we should be healed already.

Those things are like almost but not quite occurrences. According to Websters Dictionary, almost means “very near but not quite”.

So, the way I see it the “almosts” and “might have beens” are the same as it never really happened at all. I have a lot of almosts and might have beens in my life with MS but I don’t let that stop me from living life on my own terms. Not according to what other people think it should be but how I choose to live it. How about you?

You can’t control multiple sclerosis

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Living with multiple sclerosis isn’t as easy as some people make it seem. It’s not like I can will my body into behaving or talk my muscles into working. Mine seem to have revolted all on their own. I don’t need anyone to pull me down with their words. MS is doing a pretty good job of that on its own.

I have days when I find myself dealing with physical symptoms like tremors, pain, weakness, numbness, vision problems, and muscle spasms. Enough to cause me difficulties but not enough to stop me from continuing on in my day. Then there are times when everything becomes so intense, when the pain and weakness grows so deep, that it bleeds over into every part of my life as it tries to get its grubby little hands on things like my thoughts and emotions.

One thing I have learned over time is that MS is not a disease you can control or keep to yourself. We try though…don’t we?! I know I do. I try to keep the effects of MS neatly contained in its own little space hoping to shield myself and those around me from its impending destruction, but it seems the more I try to contain it, the more it spills out. It’s kind of like trying to rake the leaves in my yard into a pile on a windy day. What a futile task. No matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay where I put them.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, we need people, especially when living with a chronic illness and even more so at this time of year. It’s a time when the weather is unforgiving. It has this sneaky way of causing our nerves and muscles to go a bit haywire as the hot temperatures creep into our lives limiting what we can accomplish on our own. Humidity is the worst.

As the summer progresses more and more cookouts take place. It’s amazing the things we have to consider when receiving an invitation to an outing. Is the location accessible? Will there be adequate air conditioning to keep me cool? Will my body play nice? Will I be able to manage the traffic? Will my finances be stretched too thin, above and beyond any past due medical bills? Will people understand my decision to stay at home or that I had to cancel plans last minute? Will they even invite me in the first place?

Real friends get it though. I was once told, “You can count your true friends on one hand and sometimes on one finger.” How true is that?

I know it’s not always easy to do, but be determined to fill the days ahead with the love of a few close friends. It really does brighten the dreaded summer days. If you can’t get out, invite someone over for a special movie night complete with pizza and popcorn or even have a Zoom meeting with people you haven’t seen in a while. Sometimes something as simple as a text message back and forth with someone you haven’t heard from in a long time can give you a smile that lasts for days.

From one friend to another: do your best to find joy in the steamy hot days and always remember just how absolutely, positively, incredibly amazing you are. I sure happen to think so.

We are living with a forever disease

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We live in a messed up world in a messed up body with a messed up disease, so when things get messed up around us…why are we so surprised? Don’t let the messes mess up your day. One thing to keep in mind is that we are living with multiple sclerosis, a forever disease, as crazy as that may seem.

There is nothing as of yet to rid the body of MS. Yes, you can manage the symptoms and sometimes even make them appear as though they don’t even exist. But don’t kid yourself. You still have MS even when it’s hidden. Be mindful of your body and what it’s telling you. Only you can hear it. Sometimes it will be annoyingly screaming at you to pay attention. Please stop and listen.

Growing up in a family of seven, we had our fair share of messes. I loved baking and would enter contests from time to time. As a ten year old I could make a killer lemon cake. It won me a blue ribbon more than once.

I was taught to clean up as you go. I had fun as I gathered all my ingredients; measured out what I needed; sifted, mixed, cracked, whipped, poured, and baked. The entire time I was also cleaning up, putting away, rinsing and washing to keep from having too big of a mess. By time the cake was in the oven, I was ready to watch it rise.

Now my oldest brother, that was a different story. You let him loose in the kitchen and it would turn out looking like a tornado hit it. He had no concept of order, he just had fun. He could make some amazing oatmeal cookies, scrambled eggs and even sirloin steaks, you just didn’t want to go in the kitchen afterwards. It was messier than messy. It was what I called confused chaos. It would take him time, but the kitchen would eventual get cleaned up and looking just as amazing as his food tasted.

We both had messes to face, we just chose our own way of dealing with them. I would tackle things bit by bit as they came along and he would wait to attack them all at once. We both had fun, we both had messes, but in the end we both had something amazing.

It bothers me when people come along trying to dictate how to live with MS as if the mess we find ourselves living in has a one stop, one way fix. What makes people think they’re the experts at living with a chronic illness just because it works for some, never for all? If I choose to follow a certain diet, something different than you…am I wrong, or are you wrong? If I choose to not take meds and you choose to take something…am I wrong, or are you? If I chose to visit a doctor and you chose to stay home, who’s right and who’s wrong?

Each person is different with different bodily makeup, different cell structures, different DNA, different problems, really different everything. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another. To be honest, one drug may harm a person as well as help another.

You see, we each have our own lives, our own messes, our own chaos and our own fun. No one is right or wrong in how they go about living with MS. There are always things we could do better and new things to learn, but NEVER should we act as if we are the guru of all knowledge and wisdom regarding something as unknowable as MS and the human body, because we aren’t. It’s just that each of us deals with the mess in different ways.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad because they chose something different than you. You be you and do what you know you need to do for yourself. You know your body better because you are the one actually living in it. Be unique, be crazy, make a mess, try new things, make mistakes, and even succeed…but most of all, hang onto the smiles around you and enjoy living.

There’s only one you and only one today, but there is a potential for lots of smiles to help you through this messed up life we have. Choose to find the smiles.