Understanding my journey with Multiple Sclerosis

I wear shoes most days. Although I still prefer my barefoot moments, but protecting my feet is way more important these days especially since I don’t have much feeling in them anymore.

Today, my everyday shoes are nice and clean, but that’s only because I don’t actually walk in them anymore. I just wear them as I wheel myself about in my powerchair. They keep me from stubbing my toes or banging my feet into the walls which happens quite often. I actually broke my big toe running into my work station in the garage where I keep all my tools. My hand was tired steering my chair and it seemed to have a mind of its own. Then… B A M.

When I was walking, my everyday shoes were a bit worn and scuffed. I had been many places with them on my feet. If they could talk they would tell of traveling around the world, going to the theatre, spending time with friends, out shopping and visiting beautiful landmarks. I felt unstoppable and on top of the world.

They would also tell of the day I went to the doctors office for tests because I was having a hard time walking, seeing and feeling parts of my face and body. That day was a day of tears, but not the good kind of tears. It was a day I wish I didn’t have to go through, but my shoes were with me and walked me down those sterile hallways at the hospital. They saw my pain and felt my discomfort as a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis was made. If only they could talk.

No one has ever walked in my shoes. I doubt they could fit in them even if they tried. I think my shoes are a little like Cinderella’s… you know, how out of everybody in the kingdom, no one had a foot her size or could fit into her lost shoe. It’s amazing how not even one person could wear her shoe. It was unique to her.

I’ve heard it said that you can’t know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. People like to throw out opinions of how I should live my life, but in actuality, they don’t know my journey. They haven’t lived my story. When you’ve lived my life only then can you judge me.

Don’t let someone judge your pain or your response to the difficulties in life while standing in their own shoes, not once putting them aside to walk in yours first. They can’t know your pain, sorrow, happiness, joy, depression, heartache, doubts, fears, and laughter. They can’ know your life if they aren’t walking in your shoes. Some people can’t handle the truth let alone tell it. Don’t judge me until you take a hard look in a mirror at yourself. Hopefully it doesn’t break. (Grin)

And besides I gave most of my shoes away when I discovered I could no longer wear them. My high heels… gone. Flip-flops… gone. Even my favorite tennis shoes… gone. All because I needed an AFO brace to help me walk on my own. That journey alone was heartbreaking.

We each have our own journey and our own shoes to wear. When you put your shoes on today, remember how far you’ve come and the miles you’ve been. Each scuff mark is a story of trying. Each smudge is a part of not giving up. Your journey isn’t over… it’s only just begun. So, let’s go forward Warriors.