We are in a war against our bodies – this is multiple sclerosis
There is something about having things left undone that sets me on edge. I don’t know why, I guess that’s just how I’m wired. Because the temperature outside is dropping I needed to make sure the air in my van tires were properly set. The cold weather always decreases the pressure so air needs to be added. Like most people, I have a portable air pump so I don’t have to go to a gas station or a car mechanic to pump them up. The temperature dropped to below freezing last night so I had to make sure everything was going to be okay in the coming days.
I was glad I checked them out. I spent about 20 minutes adding air to each tire. I checked my riding mower tires too while I was at it, so all my tires are good to go now. I won’t know it my van tires are properly filled until I go down the road. The sensors in the van will let me know if the air is still too low. Hopefully I filled them up without needing a bit more air.
There are a few more jobs I need to do around the house in the coming days. My to-do list has become filled with an unending list of must-do items. I try my best to tackle my list, but lately it has gotten bigger than I can manage. I’m going to have to get some help if I don’t want the coming winter to overtake me.
Dealing with all the things I need to do around the house doesn’t put MS on hold. When multiple sclerosis stepped into my life years ago and it made a jumbled up mess of my bodies makeup. My internal wiring has been a crazy tangled up mess since then. So the mess outside of my body makes an added mess to my insides as well. Either I’m battling a myline munching monster or it’s life itself complicating everything around me.
It feels as if I’m living in a virtual Trouble board game merged with Operation… My Pop-O-Matic die roller is broken and I have been sent back to start more times than warranted. My Operation doctor is still working to determine which nerves have been cut. Is it the train of thought nerve? The vision nerve? The speech nerve? The funny bone nerve? No one knows.
MS short circuits my bodies ability to properly function and creates chaos where there isn’t any chaos to begin with. Nothing ever seems to go as I want it to. My body seems to have a mind of its own and has adventures without me. I tell it to walk and it rolls around on the floor. I tell it to run and it sits down laughing at me. I tell it to sleep and it throws a temper tantrum. It just doesn’t seem to listen to anything I say. It’s worse than a rebellious teenager.
We are in a war, you and I. A war, not just against a broken pop-o-matic die roller or a faulty operation doctor. We are in a war against our bodies… if there is such a thing. There are so many things I used to be able to do that seem huge today and nearly impossible. Everything from laundry to running the dishwasher, from sorting mail to grocery shopping, from driving through traffic to maneuvering through crowds, they all seem extra hard, nearly impossible, and bigger than life.
You know what I have learned in this messy life we have? I have learned that it’s okay to have an unfinished to-do list. It’s okay to let the dishes sit alone in the dishwasher. It’s okay to not clean out the car, to slow down when I’m in a hurry, to enjoy a moment of quiet with just myself. Each minute is a gift we are given. We get to choose how we use them.
Take more care in how you use your minutes. They are precious and shouldn’t be wasted with worries and frustrations. If that means things don’t get done… oh well.
Use your minutes with care. Do something you love, something just for you, something that will give you a chance to simply enjoy the day. You are amazing and deserve some time just for you.
1. Simplify your life.
I am losing the war. MS is winning every battle. No matter how positive I try to be there is always a home run for MS awaiting. My wife has walked out. I’m alone and cannot walk. I keep falling over. Haven’t been out the house in over 3 weeks. Lost most of my friends. Medics don’t seem to be too interested and I’m left to my own devices. When I think I’m establishing a relationship with a lady MS soon puts paid to that. I’m on a downward spiral and this is just an existence. I’ve no siblings and extended family that gives a toss. Excuse me therefore for being negative but realistic and honest. I’ve got nothing worth waking up for tbh
Your own words are powerfully affecting you. You are not a victim no matter what you think. You are powerful and have the ability within you to rise above all that is happening around you. You see, we can create the problem by dwelling on the hard times and cursing our own life but we can also create the solution. How? By changing the words you focus on and saying to yourself.
Stop telling yourself the woe is me story. You have to decide to get away from it mentally and start the process of telling yourself a better story. No more woe is me. Write down the things you want to start happening and read it out loud to yourself every day…
Slowly say these questions out loud…
What if I love myself?
(take a moment to pause and breathe)
What if health, love and beauty are the norm?
(take a moment to pause and breathe)
What if MS is no longer controlling my day?
(take a moment to pause and breathe)
What if I smile more?
(take a moment to pause and breathe)
Your mental imagery will start to change and you will move towards becoming an overcomer with unlimited potential. It’s all in a person’s mind set. Your problems may be big and complicated, but the solution is not complicated at all.
Have a “Not today” victim mentality. Don’t allow yourself to go there mentally. You can’t keep your focus on the past. Look where you want to go… and shift your focus to your future. It’s hard work but so worth it. I believe you will rise above your troubles. I will keep you in my prayers…
Hi Gio, yes MS is a b***h! I’ve had it for 23 years. Friendships change, relationships change, we change although I’d like to think there’s a lot of me that hasn’t changed. Am sure there are lots of positive things buried deep in there somewhere, just might take a while for you to find them again but find them you will. I sent a message on messenger.