20 things I love about multiple sclerosis

Vertigo – I get to pretend that I am on a Trans-Atlantic sea cruise every day… plus I like wearing Hawaiian shirts.
Disabling Fatigue – I get to take naps and snuggle with my pillow.
Insomnia – I get to catch up on all the reruns of the shows I missed while taking my naps… life can stick me with a crippling disease but I won’t miss a thing.
Heat Intolerance – I get to drink all the Chocolate Ice Cream Shakes I want.
Nausea and Vomiting – I can drink all the Chocolate Ice Cream Shakes I want with no weight gain.
Delayed Verbal Processing – Nothing stops me from putting my foot in my mouth faster than being unable to think of what I was just about to say… several times in a row.
Cognitive Dysfunction – When I put my cell phone in the refrigerator, my car keys in the microwave, and the milk in the dishwasher I am always pleasantly surprised when I find them.
Short-term Memory Loss – I get to walk into the same room over and over several times until I remember why I went in there to begin with… it is a great excuse to just go make another Chocolate Ice Cream Shake.
Speech Ataxia – I never know what funky new words I may create when I talk. I believe this is how “jive talk” started.
Paraesthesia – It reminds me of when I was 10 years old at summer camp when I stuffed my socks full of Pop Rocks on a dare.
Footdrop – It makes it really easy to plant even rows of seeds in my garden.
Diplopia – Getting to see my Chocolate Ice Cream Shake twice at the same time is awesome.
Optic Neuritis – The ugly people on my High Def TV are finally blurry! Woo Hoo!!!!
Dysmetria – I get to figure out brand new innovative ways to do simple things like cutting vegetables or frying bacon… or putting on pants while frying bacon.
Muscle Paresis – I will no longer feel obligated to help friends if they ever need to move a couch up a flight of stairs or bury a body in the backyard.
Muscle Spasticity – Gym membership? Ha! Look at these quads!
Bladder Spasticity – I will always know where all the rest rooms are located.
Dystonia – I was never a fan of typing words correctly anyway… just ask Siri on my iPhone.
Clumsiness – I used to just be good to look at but now I am much more fun to watch.
I am stuck in a motorized wheel chair – I have another reason to keep working on designing the first ever “low-rider” turbo charged Rascal Scooter for street racing with death ray for use for the idiots who park in handicapped spots.