I want to see you be brave

I think one of the hardest things about living with multiple sclerosis is the pressure from certain people to just get better. It’s almost as if they think I have this secret power tucked away in my sock drawer that will rid my body of all the symptoms, difficulties and struggles MS is causing in life, but for some unknown reason I choose not to use it.

When I am unable to join in on the outings, parties, dinners and shopping trips people are taking part in, the vibe I get at times from them is one of doubt that things could actually be “that bad.” I can almost see the thought bubble above their heads as they wonder how it is I can go from feeling okay one minute to feeling like crap the next.

The best thing anyone could ever do for someone living with MS is to allow them to decide how they’re actually feeling and what they are capable of doing. I like it when people leave it up to me to decide what I can and can’t do, and are okay with my decision. After all, it’s my body…it’s my life. I should know how I’m feeling.

I don’t know what the next moment in my life or tomorrow will bring. I don’t know if today will end in tears or laughter. I don’t know if MS will get the best of me or if I will be able to muster up enough strength to fight one more day. I don’t know if my hands or legs will fail me when I need them the most. I don’t know if there’s really a light at the end of the tunnel or if I’m headed towards a tragic collision with the 6 o’clock train. There are a lot of things I simply don’t know.

Those that love me enough to give me the option to choose and are okay if my decision is different than what they want or planned for…those are some of the most amazing people on the planet. No one should ever have to spend time defending how they feel.

When you find yourself sitting in a puddle of your thoughts wondering where everyone has gone, know that there are others with MS who understand. We may be separated by miles and miles of distance and separated by oceans and seas, but we are connected through wires and keystrokes. We are in this together. I want to see you be brave with everything you go through. You can do this.